Oppo, if you were a car, what car would you be?

"VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely" (vajazzlemcdildertits) 07/12/2017 at 14:27 • Filed to: None

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I recently posted a comment about pets resembling their owners, and inferring that cars sometimes do too. So let’s chat. What’s your spirit car? What car do you resemble? I’ll start.

Spirit car: Gen 1 NyanSX (low hanging fruit)

Typically underestimated, loved by many, performs well on the street as well as in other areas (wink wink) aging, but somewhat gracefully. Fussy, but smooths things over with a silly punchline.

.

.

.

What car I actually resemble: 2000 Kia Sephia

Full of derp, can run well when it is inclined, ignored by most, covered in food spills

Edit: Kinja Y U No Format Properly!?

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:34

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VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/12/2017 at 14:39

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Good looking truck, good looking pics. Hullo Canada! Hockey and Tim Horton’s.

Flex my boost > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:39

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6'3" 260 so I guess I’d have to be a big truck.

My bird IS the word > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/12/2017 at 14:40

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TVR sagaris:

Fun to be around, tons of personality, off-putting to some, a little unhinged and some build quality issues.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > My bird IS the word 07/12/2017 at 14:41

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Think you’re replying to the wrong guy

Nice car tho

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:42

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Hello back from Canada, sadly devoid of hockey at the moment. Still got Timmies though!

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Flex my boost 07/12/2017 at 14:43

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You could also be a muscle car if you were so inclined.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:44

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Next question

Flex my boost > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:44

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This is mine. Does that work?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > My bird IS the word 07/12/2017 at 14:45

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We should hang out.

Flex my boost > My bird IS the word 07/12/2017 at 14:45

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I lol’d

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Flex my boost 07/12/2017 at 14:45

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I too am mostly likely a Fatstang.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Flex my boost 07/12/2017 at 14:45

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Ahh, I see... all is right in Oppo now.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/12/2017 at 14:46

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I would have thought a blue mazda 2

My bird IS the word > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/12/2017 at 14:46

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Gahd damnit kinja

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/12/2017 at 14:47

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That car to me is the automotive equivalent of the unsolicited dick pic.

That being said, my lawyer drives one, and she got me off a few tickets, so maybe there’s something to it.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 14:48

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Nope.

I’m 6'2", 210 lbs, I look slimmer than I am.

I’m usually pointless to some, but still extremely relevant when it comes down to things.

I’m not the best looking, but I’m decent.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:49

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Peugeot 505 Turbo Diesel

Not too fast or exciting, but steady, reliable, cheap and easy to operate

djmt1 > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:49

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Undeniably sexy but heavier than I should be.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > djmt1 07/12/2017 at 14:50

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ayyyyy do you have ass pic

crowmolly > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:50

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440 Charger. Simple, pretty low maintenance. Large but not porky. Good at a specific type of competition.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 07/12/2017 at 14:51

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Whalenger

TheHondaBro > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:52

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djmt1 > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:53

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Okay I admit, I might of had a bit of surgery since that original pic was taken but who hasn’t had a bit of nip and tuck these days?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/12/2017 at 14:53

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A Peugeot I don’t immediately hate. Interesting.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > crowmolly 07/12/2017 at 14:53

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GREAT pic. What a sexy car...

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > TheHondaBro 07/12/2017 at 14:54

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I do so prefer the RC rear over the IS-F rear. Still torn on the front.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > djmt1 07/12/2017 at 14:54

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When you got it, flaunt it, amirite?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/12/2017 at 14:57

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Some of us aspire to be decent. 210 isn’t so bad, I was 210 until a few years ago and I’m 5'6".

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 14:58

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I used to be 260+ until I lost 50 lbs or so a year ago.

I feel a lot happier than I used to be.

It’s been a long journey. I’m proud of myself.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 07/12/2017 at 15:04

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Keep up the good fight! Health takes discipline or youth. And I’m all out of youth.

RallyWrench > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:21

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Spirit car:

An old Rover is simple and capable, doesn’t like pavement, endearing and a good companion in rough going, but idiosyncratic.

Car/truck I actually resemble:

My actual clapped out truck, conveniently. Drinks too much fuel/beer, broken/worn out a lot lately but keeps on truckin’, doesn’t see dirt under its wheels nearly as often as it should. Pretty representative of me at the moment.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:21

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While I wish I was a McLaren P1/F1. I am more realistically:

Slow, really good endurance, over sized for my 6' height and a powerlifting background

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > RallyWrench 07/12/2017 at 15:24

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Would you consider your actual truck part of that 1%?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 07/12/2017 at 15:24

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I don’t lift, on the track or in the gym. I should change one of those two things before I get decrepit.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:25

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I’m super disciplined until I see food (I suck at diets).

RallyWrench > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:27

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Yes, I love old Fords, though it’s testing my patience lately.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:29

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I’m a bigger guy, but not NFL linebacker big so a bobbed deuce works well. I’m probably bigger than I need to be, but still very capable. I can work like a mofo. I’m not going anywhere fast but I’ll keep a steady pace the entire way loaded or not (haha that works 2 ways). I’ll eat (or drink) anything and I’m a no frills practical kind of guy.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 07/12/2017 at 15:33

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We gotta lot of big guys in here. I feel very small all of a sudden

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:45

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WHEN MAN AND MACHINE BECOME ONE, I AM MY MIATA.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:49

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meh, do some trail-running/hiking, eat well, and get sufficient rest

OPPOsaurus WRX > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:53

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Allroad. I’m equally at home in a nice restaurant or on a trail. Works for a family or hauling tools to build stuff. Fairly quick. Being an architect I am a little different. My wife says i’m complicated. However the biggest difference is I spend much less time sick/broken down than an Allroad.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 07/12/2017 at 15:54

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I work too much, stress eat, sleep poorly, and work remotely so it’s just me in a chair for 10-11 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. I pedal a bike sometimes, but I need to start lifting. On the upside, I got promoted, so now I work even more!

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:55

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IT?

Get some high energy dogs that require you to exercise them/with them :)

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > OPPOsaurus WRX 07/12/2017 at 15:56

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Top Gear told me you should be driving a Saab. Where’s your street cred!?!?!?

Although I do like Allroads

OPPOsaurus WRX > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 15:59

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Top Gear said architects should drive Saabs?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 07/12/2017 at 16:20

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Yep, IT. Not a bad job, people are good, pay’s good, but they ask that you work for it.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > OPPOsaurus WRX 07/12/2017 at 16:22

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Was going to skip to the end for your architect punchline, but it’s short.

Pickup_man > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:23

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I think my spirit vehicle and the vehicle I resemble are the same. The Jellybean F-150

Rugged and outdoorsy, but not overly so, fairly strong but not a powerhouse, understated and typically unnoticed, but always there when you’re in need, will do a lot of work without a lot of fuss, not super attractive (to most people, these are one of my favorite trucks ever) but not bad looking either. Reliable and dependable but not without a few little quirks.

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:24

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A RAV4 probably. Doesn’t stick out in the crowd. Constant model bloating. Not particularly excellent at doing anything but good enough to get a lot of different tasks done.

Die-Trying > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:29

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a no flash, no frills, “nothing to see here”, humble, engine swap, deathtrap, monster......

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:32

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Same.

Started 2 years ago as sysadmin

spent last 2 years un-fucking their situation

Am now director + fac director + marketing director

^result of Marine Corps, picking up billets like they are pokemon

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 07/12/2017 at 16:36

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Never enlisted, but worked a decade at a company (not naming) that employs a lot of former military in their IT staff, bunch of cool peeps, did a lot of different stuff before I found a job where I’m at now. Got into the same habit myself - if I pick up another billet I’ll never sleep again. Still, though, director! Go you. I thought about going into management, but my manager game needs work.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Die-Trying 07/12/2017 at 16:38

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Oh, a Beetle guy! Hi. Not for me, but I definitely get the appeal.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Pickup_man 07/12/2017 at 16:39

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I am good friends with a couple of people both of whose families are Ford > GM. I do like the F150s, they are quite nice. I keep eyeing the Raptor and it keeps eyeing me back.

wkiernan > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:39

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...they don’t make ‘em like me any more, and I’m old and falling apart

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna 07/12/2017 at 16:40

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Don’t know where you swing on things, but women love the RAV4. Just sayin’

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > wkiernan 07/12/2017 at 16:42

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RIP Saturn. The popular kids at GM kept stealing your lunch money but Oppo’ll always remember.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:43

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Goal is to be in CTO or CIO positions by my mid-40s

Die-Trying > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:44

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they have a strange character about them, that the more you work on/around them the more fun that they are...... overgrowed go karts for sure......

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet 07/12/2017 at 16:45

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When you get there, let me know if you need a Datastore Architect.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:46

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sounds like a plan

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:51

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Probably a geo metro(sadly). Barely running, falling apart, doesn’t want to start. All of this is because of soccer

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner 07/12/2017 at 16:54

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Actually a Jaguar XJs fast, agile, but will break down

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner 07/12/2017 at 16:54

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Despite their clear limitations I always thought the Geo Metro had a kind of shabby charm. Do you have one? Does it still do the mpg?

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 16:57

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No I don’t ( hence the name mini guy)

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner 07/12/2017 at 17:13

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Hmm, that would have been intelligent to acknowledge before this exchange. Duly noted.

Pickup_man > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 17:19

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I was always a die hard Ford fan, but as I spend more time around each brand I’m a lot less brand loyal. Every truck has it’s goods and bads and I’m much more likely to buy a truck based on what I like about it vs. what brand it is.  

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Pickup_man 07/12/2017 at 17:39

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I’ve always wanted to ask a F150 guy this: What do you think of the new Ridgeline? I’ve liked them, but I am not a big truck guy and I don’t have much need for one. I do think they cost too much.

http://automobiles.honda.com/ridgeline

Kiltedpadre > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 18:20

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I’m torn between multiple options.

The best fit is an Older Range Rover: appears to be dignified and refined, loves the outdoors, but quite often needs repairs

Alternatively a dragster: fueled by alcohol

My wife would probably say a Volkswagen TDI due to dangerous levels of tailpipe emissions.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Kiltedpadre 07/12/2017 at 20:01

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My wife would say the same thing. When I’m particularly loud (they’re nasty enough that I think they smell awful) she jokingly threatens a trial separation to get away from the “butt trumpet.”

Land_Yacht_225 > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 20:03

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I think I am my car. An overused and overworked Mercedes S600. It makes a lot of sense intellectually speaking; make no mistake I’ve got 12 cylinders and two turbos worth of intelligence...I just put on too many miles in too little time and I’ve wound up a little tired. Nothing is broken or not functioning, but that’s not to say there aren’t a few high dollar repairs needed to get back to the kind of performance I had years ago.

The allegory works physically too. I have average looks but...well...all I can say is...

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Land_Yacht_225 07/12/2017 at 20:04

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I wish I could say I resembled my F more, but the F is way stronger and smoother than I’ll ever be.

Kiltedpadre > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 20:14

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The only thing that saves me is her best friend’s husband is on a prescription for what’s basically Super Beano. Even with pharmaceutical help he makes me look downright dainty.

Thankfully, I typically work alone so as long as I air out the control room near the end of my shift we can avoid casualties.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Kiltedpadre 07/12/2017 at 20:26

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See if you can get either him or the aftereffects on Youtube. Could have a monetized winner on your hands. I know I’d watch.

Kiltedpadre > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 20:51

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I have no doubt I can get one of the many times that his farts make his dog leave the room recorded. He farts, the dog looks at him, and jogs out of the room.

Long Live the Longdoor > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 21:32

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Shit, I think I just realized I am my car . Honda Accord Coupe 4 cylinder.

Not too big, not too small; a little overweight but still got plenty of performance in me. Handsome, but not super attractive (hotter than your average joe?).

OPPOsaurus WRX > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/12/2017 at 22:43

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Haha. I haven’t seen this one. Does he explain why more that what’s in That clip? Is architects and saabs really a thing?

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > OPPOsaurus WRX 07/13/2017 at 03:48

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If I recall my new-old Top Gear correctly, he mentions it only in relation to this Saab review, and the one other time in a later season. Honestly, all the Saab fans I know, none of have been architects so far, but they’ve all been interesting.

pip bip - choose Corrour > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/13/2017 at 06:44

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basic.

Pickup_man > VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely 07/13/2017 at 09:32

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I’ve never minded the Ridgeline and think it’s a decent little truck, although a bit ugly. I would never buy one myself because even though I don’t use the capability of my truck every day, the Ridgeline just wouldn’t be enough truck for me. There’s been a few times when I probably should have had a 3/4 ton, but made the 1/2 ton work. If you’re doing smallish jobs like landscaping materials, a couple pieces of furniture, etc. or have a small utility trailer, or small boat it would be a great little truck. I’ve pulled race cars, skid steers, tractors, and full sized trucks on 21' 4000lb tilt bed trailers several times, a 20' boat regularly, and ATV’s/Dirtbikes/Motorcycles in the bed (don’t have a small trailer, or a place to keep one) often enough that a 1/2 ton is as small as I’ll go (unless I have multiple trucks).

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Pickup_man 07/13/2017 at 11:33

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That seems like a pretty solid assessment. They did just revise them so they’re not nearly as ugly now. The revision did include an updated engine but there weren’t huge gains made to go or torque.